Just ask.” That is what Kathryn Walraven, a former Apache Belle and TJC student, said when asked what would be the best way to ask her out on a date.
A recent survey that was conducted by the Apache Pow Wow found that Walraven was not alone in her thoughts on being asked out. The survey asked 175 women eight simple questions regarding how women want to be approached in class, on-campus, and what they are looking for in college.
What do women want? This has been a question for centuries and doubtfully was answered in this survey, but it was a little insight into the minds of the women on the TJC campus.
When asked what the three biggest turnoffs were when it comes to guys, the most notable traits were liars, boring personality/not being able to carry on a conversation, and cockiness.
On the other hand, the three biggest turn-ons for them were the guy’s presentation (smelling good and dressing nice), the guys smile, and self-confidence.
It is interesting that the most common turn off was being cocky and one of the biggest turn-ons was having self confidence. This is a debate that guys and girls could spend an entire conversation about. When guys are trying to exude self-confidence they may actually be coming across as being cocky.
“It’s important for guys to understand the difference between these two things. Self-confidence is about believing in yourself, your value and worth as a person. It is often obvious in actions and not in words. A guy with self confidence has the nerve to ask a girl out or to speak his opinion,” Tracey Williams said, who is a licensed counselor on the TJC campus.
“If you are a ‘big deal’ let me hear about it from someone else, I don’t want to hear who you are from you” Amanda Margraves, a TJC student, said.
The turn-on that was most commonly written down, and on 90% on the surveys’ was the guy’s smile.
“Women are looking for someone who is positive and friendly. A smile can show this and that you are happy or having fun, all from a distance. It is often the first impression, remember that a genuine smile can speak volumes.” Williams said.
A smile from a distance is a great way for you to get her attention, but what if you wanted to take it to the next level. After all, smiling at a girl doesn’t get you that date. What is something that you could say or do to make her notice you?
“Just come up beside me when I am walking and talk to me,” said one TJC student. Another said, “Complement me, introduce yourself and start a conversation.”
That may sound easy, but it is a lot harder than what the girls think.
“If I went up to a girl randomly she would look at me like I am crazy,” Ryan Leroy, a TJC student, said.
Many girls have preferences about the way and manner in which guys ask them on dates.
“Guys don’t like to be rejected. If they are hesitating it is because they are nervous that she might say no. No one likes to be told they aren’t good enough, and basically that is what she is telling you when she says no.” Leroy said.
From the girl’s view it seems easy. When they were asked how they would like to be asked on a date they responded with:
“Just ask, don’t be nervous. Know what you want.”
“Ask. The worst thing I can say is no.”
“Just ask and if the person is interested, good, if not then go on to the next.”
Guys now know how to approach girls and ask them out, but what are girls looking for in college?
Of the 175 women that were polled, 20% said they were here to have fun in college, 30% said they were looking for a serious relationship, and 40% said ‘whatever happens happens’. Only 10 percent said they were here to get an education.
To quote Alex Hitchens from the movie Hitch, “Any man has a chance to sweep any woman of her feet, he just needs to find the right broom.”