Welcome to a new semester of my trash talking, opinionated, trash-talking column. I am one who always tries to find the shows and stories in entertainment that make absolutely no sense or seemed to be watched for the wrong reasons.
My first column for this spring issue is about three shows that either should not even be made or are watched just for making fun of people.
I will begin with one of the craziest shows being watched, “Swamp People.”
Here is a (Expletive Deleted) up show about a bunch of Cajun bayou boys, and a couple of women, who for 30 days of the year, make their living hunting alligators. The problem with the show is this. Most of the people I know who watch it say their reason is because it is funny. Okay, let’s watch a show that we can (Expletive Deleted) make fun of them. Troy Lander, a gator hunter extraordinaire, is backwoods enough that they have to have (Expletive Deleted) subtitles when he talks. He and his son take this job seriously because it is how they survive, yet people only watch it to rag on them. Take a look in the mirror before you rag on a person trying to provide for his family. If you can’t handle that, quit watching the (Expletive Deleted) show.
Next on my list makes as much sense as Jersey Shore. Let’s create a show about….hmmmmmm, a bunch of (Expletive Deleted) Rednecks. No wait! A whole redneck family named, the Clampets (their real names), and (Expletive Deleted) put them in the Hamptons of New York. Who the hell came up with this idea? And to top it off, let’s make Tom Arnold the host. This is the funny thing about the show. First Roseanne Barr’s ex hubby steadily pops up and cracks jokes about the family and the situations they are put in, and it seems every time you see one of the men, he has a cold beer in his hand. So now that they are in this environment, let’s make them take Polo lessons, or maybe send them to a (Expletive Deleted) wine tasting -party. I cannot begin to express my feelings on the utter (Expletive Deleted) stupidity of this show.
The final show I will discuss is a spin-off of one of my favorite reality show. “Cajun Pawn Stars “is the second spin-off of “Pawn Stars”. I haven’t actually had the pleasure of watching this show, but just watching the commercials for it is enough for me to “Just say NO!” A man in the preview actually asks about the going trade on a (Expletive Deleted) goat! Who pawns a (Expletive Deleted) goat? I can’t even begin to comprehend the reason for this show.
In closing, for those of you who watch these shows, please send me your reasons for watching them. Help this poor journalist understand. Just be careful. If the phrases “yaw, yaw’ll, or you all” become habit, or you start yelling “yee-haw”, or even put an “s” at the end of Wal-Mart, cease all exposure to the shows. Your brain cells are slowly dying and you won’t be able to finish college.
This is my opinion and mine alone. Some of the people at the Pow-Wow might not agree with me, and some of you readers might not agree with me, but I guarantee you are laughing your (Expletive Deleted) (Expletive Deleted) off.
Until next issue, Live, love, and laugh.