By Marshall Cearfoss

Online Editor

Don’t even act like you haven’t been excited about this movie. It’s earned every bit of excitement… Your excitement. Because if you’re reading this, that means you’re probably human. And most humans would, at least, get mildly (haha, “mildly”) hyped after those trailers.

Storyline: There is none. But here’s a set of random words to explain what filled up the 148 minutes. Ryan Reynolds (DP) got messed up. After that, he looked like a chicken nugget with the breading peeled off. He was ugly enough to be diagnosed with adult onset of overly-aggressive UFC face. He looked like a dinosaur evolving into a human that gave up after a few million years.

…But, even after all that, Ryan Reynolds still maintained his typical sexiness. Damn it, Ryan.

If you’ve seen the trailers, you have a basic idea of how the rest of the movie went. Deadpool, now in fancy red spandex, just went around and mutilated people, told jokes that made every audience member cry, and broke the fourth wall.

Actually, he didn’t break the fourth wall. He mercilessly eradicated any possible separation between himself and the audience.

My thoughts… Briefly, because you don’t care what I think: Honestly, this was one of the few movies that ended up being EXACTLY what the trailer made it out to be. Imagine the trailers (red band, of course) stretched out into a feature-length film. Yep. You got it.

Although I personally despise characters breaking the fourth wall, I have to excuse it for this movie. Because Deadpool. That’s why.

The humor was gratuitous, the action was perfect, the suit was red, and the Ryan was Reynolds.

 

I’d like to thank Times Square Cinema for making this review possible.

When you come up to the ticket booth, tell the clerk that you’re there to see the lazy dinosaur. They’ll know what movie you’re talking about.

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