By Marshall Cearfoss
News Editor

Going into this, I anticipated a movie with an expansive storyline with lots of shootouts, fancy car chases, loads of women, and tailor-made suits. Well, that’s literally exactly what this movie brought to the table.

Spectre is the fourth installment of the newest incarnations of James Bond movies.

Plot summary: As per usual, James Bond/007 (Daniel Craig- arguably the largest nose to be cast as James Bond), aided with the help of allies such as Madeleine Swann (Lea Seydoux), Agent Q (Ben Whishaw), and Agent M (Ralph Fiennes- arguably the largest nose in Hollywood), has to battle through an entire hierarchy of villains. The list of villains goes from harmless to nasty: Hinx (Dave Bautista), Agent C (Andrew Scott), and finally Blofeld (Christoph Waltz).

When you hire an aging WWE wrestler, such as Bautista, it’s smart to have them strictly do action, because when they try to speak, things begin going to “S#%t.”

That’s why, literally, his only line in the entire movie was a well-timed “S#%t!”

Well played, filmmakers, well played.

Acting: I really have no opinion on Daniel Craig’s acting, since his character is typically a stone-faced mastermind who just has sex with every attractive(ish) female in the movie. Pretty easy job, if you ask me. Everyone else was… Ok, I guess? The acting wasn’t bad enough to distract me from Ralph Fiennes’ nose, so I guess it was pretty good.

Plotline: Since I have never seen any James Bond movies prior to this, I can’t say I have an educated opinion….. but it was really confusing. Like every other action film ever, there were still several moments that left me thinking “Yeahhhh no.” I feel like it could have been made simpler if they would have included Ralph’s nose a little more.

Conclusion: Although I have seen no 007 movies before Spectre, it definitely made me want to watch some of the old Bond films. Aside from a plotline which leaves you in the dust if you haven’t brushed up on Bond knowledge, this film was actually pretty good. If you haven’t seen previous Bond films, I’d recommend it, as it could make Spectre more enjoyable. Though, be careful, because not all James Bond movies have Ralph Fiennes’ shnozz.

Extra: HOLY CRAP DID YOU SEE THAT BEGINNING CREDITS SEQUENCE WITH THE SAM SMITH SONG? That right there could have won an Oscar.

I’d like to thank Times Square Cinema for making this review possible.

When you come up to the ticket booth, tell the employee that you’re actually a secret agent sent to look for hidden messages in the movie. If they don’t believe you, just start naming off the alphabet while saying “Agent” before each letter. THAT will convince them.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here