It’s that time of year again. Spring has sprung, the sun is out and we’re all ready to feel horrible about our tan or lack thereof. We all have our insecurities and they impact our lives in different ways.
Many people will never feel good enough and we will blame it on society and say there is nothing we can do about it. Those people are wrong. Dealing with insecurity starts with you. Like Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step is recognizing you have a problem.
Unless an individual is willing to admit that maybe their self worth is based on false assumptions of what their body should be like, they can’t begin to fix it. Change won’t take place overnight. It’s a long arduous process that can take years or a lifetime of struggle to deal with. That’s the key though, it can be dealt with. It isn’t easy, it hurts, you will fall down, but realizing that a misstep isn’t failure.
So, why am I qualified to speak on this subject? At 27 years old, in the best shape of my life, I became disabled with no warning signs and nearly three years later, there are no solutions in sight. I know what it’s like to struggle. I feel the eyes upon me every single day as I walk across campus having to rely on a cane or even a wheelchair. It isn’t easy, but it can become manageable.
One of the most important milestones in dealing with insecurity is recognizing your self-worth. You are good enough and you have no obligation to impress other people. You give them the power when you allow others to regulate how you feel about yourself.
There will always be days when a person with insecurities doesn’t feel worthwhile. On these days, it’s important that they begin to practice filtering those thoughts. Being able to tell yourself that it’s just the insecurity talking can nip it in the bud.
A good support system is also pertinent. Cut the people who bring you down out of your life and pull in the ones who help lift you up when you’re at the bottom. Believing that they’re alone is one of the biggest challenges a person faces when dealing with self-esteem problems.
According to Livestrong.com, some key steps to facing adversity in the form of yourself are: take risks and be able to put themselves in situations that make them feel vulnerable; take a rational, rather than emotional, approach to each problem; be open to the possibility of success and recognize and reward themselves for even the smallest accomplishments.
Other tips to dealing with lack of self worth are figuring out what your emotional triggers are and learning how to approach them. Honestly assess the negative impacts that self-esteem problems have had in their life. Figure out what steps they can take to overcome each issue. Identify and pull in close friends and family to function as a support group, who they are comfortable enough with that they can be honest with about the issues they are facing. Above all else, never allow others to regulate the way you see yourself in the mirror.
And above all else, never give up just because you’ve had a setback. Stumbling is part of life and we will all fall down. It is the decision to get up and keep moving forward that defines you as a person. You have the power to determine your self worth and control what affects your self-regard. It will not be easy, it will not be instant, but it is possible through hard work and perseverance.
As Sarah once said to Jareth the Goblin King, “You have no power over me.”